“Get Over It!”

Well-meaning individuals often give advice that sounds simple, but is often very difficult to implement. Some of this advice, repeated over and over, has become part of our social consciousness. These “words of wisdom” are often given when people are hurting or trying to deal with the long-term consequences of life events. Telling someone, for example, to “just get over it” or not to “cry over spilled milk” implies that that individual is not man or women enough to deal with the problem, or that the event is of no real importance and one is a “baby” for even thinking about it. Telling someone that “time heals all wounds” does not acknowledge a person’s feelings or address the current “wounds” that need to be healed; it does not help the sufferer implement the long-term strategies that will help healing to occur.

We are emotional beings; emotions are part of who we are. I don’t think our goal should be to eliminate or suppress our emotions (Mr. Spock may disagree), but to learn appropriate times and ways to experience and to express our emotions (professional help may be needed). Uncontrolled emotions usually interfere with rational decision-making. Decisions made during times of out-of-control emotions often cause greater problems, resulting in less happiness today and in the future.

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